It gets heavy, bold,
And strong…
It weighs
As if your whole body
Breaks and dissipates,
Into the thin air.
There is this need
To disappear, to erase
Your identity, your memories.
You vomit your feelings
On the train tracks!
Spill your pain on liquid tar.
You want to become
nobody, a stranger
with no emotional package.
Take to the road
with no destination in mind.
A frontal body collision
Covers you in ice-cold sweat.
Brutally penetrated by hate,
By anger and disappointment
You feel fucking disgusted!
By love, by words, by ridiculous promises
A distorted body covered,
In flashes of
atrocious moments of silence.
Fighting against the windmills
You and Don Quijote,
Both smashed, crashed…
One mentally, the other bodily.
You are like:
An empty glass of whiskey,
full of rancour.
You hate what you’ve become
A conglomerate of unspoken words,
unfulfilled expectations, painful emotions!
They all got stuck in your throat.
Last time, you swallowed,
your dry disillusion.
With no saliva.
There is this need to disappear
And remove the plaque of steel
From your smokey, dirty throat.
You’ve been coughing blood
Cuz this poisoned love
Fed your veins too long.
Violent convulsions
Attack your body
From head to toe.
There is this need to disappear
To cleanse your wretched guts
There is a need for wind
For sea and motorbikes
For nature and random drunken experiences
To occupy your mind, to make you numb
To make you forget.
There is this need to disappear
So you can finally let go…