Just for laughs: Gags in China

Sometimes I am stuck inside of a huge, grey, dismal world, but then, all I have to do is step out of my apartment and discover the wonders around me. I am lucky enough to be in the right place for observing a multitude of things that can make one giggle out of the blue and bring a long-lasting smile on one’s face. Here are the things that turned my mood around in the past in China:

  • A middle-aged man carrying a Winnie the Pooh textile design suitcase in the metro.

 

  • A conversation with a 5-year-old during English class that went like this:
  • -Do you have cat?
  • -Yes, I do.
  • -What’s its name?
  • -Cat.

 

  • Women matching summer shoes with cotton socks.

 

  • -Hey, let’s have a nap!
  • Where?
  • Does it matter?                                                                                                                              
  • Old men wearing socks that look like lace or a type of laced transparent women’s stockings.

 

  • People heading out for a walk, for shopping or for other daily tasks in their pajamas.

 

  • Welcome to the new world of the latest fashion trends embraced by the old generation.
  • Migrant workers carrying heavy loads in raffia or nylon sacks in subways, buses and trains.

 

  • Some people bring their own foldable camping stools to sit down on when it is too crowded in the subway or trains.

 

  • People eating sunflower seeds pretty much everywhere: from airplanes and trains to restaurants, while waiting in the queue to get a dinner table.

 

  • People buying and wearing t-shirts, blouses, jackets and bags with messed-up messages in English.                                                                                                                     
  • Small bubble tea shops that have more than 12 employees on the same shift and can barely accommodate all of them.

 

  • Chinese restaurants that don’t provide tissues at tables or together with your ordered food.

 

  • People cleaning their plates, soup bowls, cups and glasses with hot tea before proceeding to serve themselves from the common dishes.

 

  • When at the beach, try the popular facekini!
  • Old Chinese people saying hello to me and smiling out of nowhere.

 

  • Kids shouting to their moms or grandmas, whenever they see me ‘laowai’ (foreigner), as if I were some sort of exotic monkey.

 

  • People occupying two seats in the subway and not bothering to move when other commuters are standing.

 

  • Young boys and toddlers getting a ‘bowl style’ haircut as if it would be the most fashionable thing ever.                                                                                                                
  • Other popular haircuts for kids!

 

  • People stocking up on rice and oil in the supermarket as if preparing for the end of the world.

 

  • Some people carrying enough crap on their e-bikes or simply on their backs to furnish an entire apartment.                                                                                                      
  • Street cleaners still using the old style twig broom.

 

  • Cleaners in subways and in some small Chinese restaurants mopping the floor while people are still walking by, ending up with a wet, dirty, slippery mess.

 

  • Toddlers, show us your butts! Trousers or overalls for kids that have butt holes to make peeing and pooping faster and easier, anywhere, at any time!                                        dsc04737.jpg
  • No space is too public to stop you from doing urgent tasks , such as toenail clipping or having a haircut.
  • The new use for the extra baby stroller in the house: walking the dogs or carrying grocery bags.

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  • Dogs in China be like: Bitch, I am more fashionable than you with my new trendy hair color!                                                                                                                                        
  • Chilling out, talking or waiting in the most natural position of all: squatting.                         
  • Talking about road and baby safety!

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  • The kingdom of fake stuff!