The panic wave

 

Hear, hear

The king of panic and fear!

it’s Monday

or Sunday

or maybe Friday

the days have departed

a mighty routine started

hours and hours,

and weeks,

a month of bacteria

no cafeteria

a deserted city

there isn’t even a kitty

a bleak soul,

Disinfect each and every bowl

breathe in, breathe out

the virus outside!

This auspicious year

has spread only fear!

Hear, hear

only time can heal.

The elusive Chronos…

he, alone, knows

how itchy is the nose.

The mask speaks

the skin’s so dry

bleach, wash, sanitize

don’t forget your eyes!

Did you order pies?

you better have some spies

if there is fever

you become a receiver.

The apocalypse, sci-fi

ghost towns, the future

Like in the movies

It’s almost quarantine

except it really is…

in Wuhan.

There’s no one around

no peace of mind to be found

Tell me, seer

all these folks

with all their jokes

were they to eat an iris

would it kill the coronavirus?

The fault in our relationships

Today’s topic of reflection is relationships. Relationships are basic components of our lives as highly social beings. Probably most of us are part of several relationships at the same time, but it can often be hard to glimpse behind their thick layers. Frequently, relationships are extremely complex and can easily become a source of great pain. I was wondering how people unconsciously cross this invisible bridge between happiness and the point where their relationships are mostly filled with heavy feelings of sadness, anger, frustration and shame. Any kind of relationship, either with family members, friends or with a partner can, at any given moment in life, seem like an inescapable labyrinth that weighs down on you. You can, all of a sudden, find yourself in a relationship that seems absolutely broken, in a lonely place where the person who used to bring the most joy to you is now floating on the parallel bank of the same river. If in the past you used to walk hand in hand, in the same direction, reaching for the same goals, now you feel alone and misunderstood. Or worse still, you feel like you are not being cared for or listened to attentively. It is a strange situation dominated by feelings of isolation and disconnection even though you might be sitting right next to other people. At this point, any attempt at communication is a complete failure because you and the other person in the relationship are on different frequencies. It is almost like you both want to transmit a message and receive a message and you do your best to put together a concise message that can communicate your feelings. However, you fail because you are using distinct communication mediums. Say, it is similar to one using a phone and the other using an email. It ends in a connection error.

I started to brood over relationships after watching a few Romanian short films (available on http://www.cinepub.ro with English subtitles, if you are interested). These shorts portrayed exactly a tangled spiderweb of painful and damaged relationships that suddenly explode and discharge cruel words and agonizing sounds. We can all agree that this type of extreme communication is damaging, but once in a while it sweeps over us, almost like a cold taking us by surprise each autumn. Sometimes, humans reach their limits and they need to release all the anger, the frustration, the anxiety, the shame, the bitterness, the despair, the jealousy, all the feelings that have been piling up inside of them. When we arrive at the point of utter fragility and desperation, our relationships become so dramatic that the tiniest of things can set us on fire. It is not about what has been said or what has been done, it is just the last blow, the icing on the cake or a mere raindrop added to a violent inner storm.

Dramatic portrayals of characters and relationships in the short films: a woman choosing solitude over attending a New Year’s Eve party because her friends invited her in the last moment and she felt betrayed (ask: what are your expectations of a friendship?; what is your conception of friendship?); a couple blaming each other for tiny mistakes or sudden actions during tense external occurrences; siblings fighting because of an unequal distribution of responsibilities in the family; an overprotective father and his daughter keeping secrets and fighting for her freedom; disagreements and shouts between spouses on how to treat their child; a man expressing his anger over the fact that he feels unsupported by his wife, daughter, brother and parents; a woman being ignored by a husband who is so taken with reading a newspaper and feeling invisible in her own house , etc. All these intense portrayals of relationships and the feelings that arise inside them illustrate examples of thwarted communication. We could argue that they are intensified or dramatized in order to create more artistic films. However, I suspect that the shorts can have such a strong impact on the viewers exactly because they feel so real. I can identify the intricate details inside my own relationships and in the relationships of people that surround me. The ultimate feeling that arguments, fights and miscommunication bring to an individual is that of isolation. Imagine being in a dark cave, completely alone! You are withdrawn from the world at that moment. It is as if your partner, friend or family member is not concerned with your feelings at all. You feel as if no one listens to you, or rather that they appear to be listening, but your words do not reach them.

Each of us have been, are or will be at some point in a situation where the way we communicate is not functional anymore. Our desires, needs, wants, goals, feelings and thoughts dissipate in the air and the person near to us seems so distant, so removed from ourselves. Maybe communication is not the problem, but rather our connection. The fact is that maybe we need more time to look within ourselves to find solutions, to listen more attentively to our feelings  instead of looking to the other person for solutions and advice. In a way, we are very self-absorbed and everything is about we, we, we…how we feel, how we suffer, how overwhelming the feeling of loneliness is, how bad was our day, our week, our entire year. Maybe it is better to start taking small steps for improving the connection in the relationship by doing pleasurable things together and by actively listening to the other. I believe that we have, in general, become so selfish that we don’t really know how to actively listen to people with an open mind and heart. We listen in order to reply and to advance our points of view. Let’s direct our attention towards our inner selves! Let’s listen and understand more!Let’s identify our painful feelings at the incipient stages and express them in a thoughtful and loving way! Let’s try to deal effectively with the fault in our relationships!

 

 

50 shades of deviance

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Dear Sir/Madam, 

 

Are you politically correct?

Do you blame migrants?

Do you endorse the death penalty?

Are you pragmatic?

A Kantian at heart?

Selfish to the bone?

Composed and analytical?

 

Do you have a fetish for norms?

Of the country, of the culture

Of society, of community

Of the nation-state, of the leaders

Of your group, of your partner

Of your inner consciousness? 

 

Are you a career builder?

A pursuer of wealth and reputation?

A creator of acquaintances

But never deeply rooted friendships?

A pretender, 

Someone who feigns to 

Like debates, freedom of thought

Noir art, cooperation

Quirkiness and consensus

Insurgent ideas, innovation

Tough fights

The best fights for causes

Worth the blood

The pain, the tears

Your own skin and bones.

 

Your PR developed persona

Hides in the closet.

Behind the layers

Of righteousness and ethics

There is a distorted, hungry

Monster, an alter ego

Subtly nodding

To other hungry monsters.

To push for change

But keep the system intact.

 

Where do the outlanders fit?

The ones who challenge, 

Who cause unrest, 

Who offend and disturb

The ones who dare 

To provoke, to smash hegemons

To be outraging.

You call them deviant…

But the foundations of your core

Devour aberrations

In a cocoon adorned

With 50 shades of deviance. 

Word Doodling

Philosophy-will-make-you-rich

 

A canvas is the rationalizing, patronizing 

Tool of a tool of an artist of his hands

Of his form as artist, of his copy of the copy

Of the fake of the fake

As Plato might say, of something real 

In heaven.

But what would a canvas look like

In heaven? 

 

Ideas, just ideas of thoughts, of randomness

Ideas of questions, never answered

Forever questioning philosophy

Ideas that give rise to things big and small. 

What is a chair? 

I am philosophizing in class

But the world outside 

Is full of reproach. 

Why? Forever questioning, forever wondering

The mental issue of the privileged

The higher concern of those…

“Distinct from animals”

My philosophy professor said:

– Without critical thinking

Constant questioning, a.k.a philosophy 

We are like animals!

Or dead, not worth living. 

I beg to disagree

I wish to disagree. 

An animal is not a lesser being.

People concerned with the material

Might do so to survive.

It is a choice, 

to do philosophy or not 

to see the purpose of philosophy or not.

A dog is a dog of the shape of the copy

Of a painting of the absurd of a dog of a question

Philosophy is a 

privileged person’s CONCERN. 

P.S: I, too, philosophize. 

 

On Utopia

 

After a long period of absence I decided to mark my return to blogging with a hot and controversial topic: utopia, and more exactly, my own utopia.

Thomas More must have been one of the most awesome and bright people just for coming up with the idea of an utopian world, a land of the plenty.

Utopia is useful, if not for anything else, for paving the way to progress and giving birth to innovative ideas and challenging the status quo, for being the seed of change.

After reading Rutger Bergman’s book “Utopia for realists” I started thinking about my own version of utopia. Would I ever see a small part of the ideal world I dream of in reality?

So let’s start…I will pinpoint some of the wrongs of nowadays’ world (from my perspective, ofc):

  1. Huge income discrepancies between the poor and the rich
  2. Materialism and consumerism dominating the world
  3. An overabundance of choices
  4. Overwork and work becoming equal to high social status in society
  5. Supression of creativity, free thinking, emotional expression
  6. Lack of time
  7. The promotion of the superhuman > The superhuman profile: excellent public speaker, amazing social networker, participant at the latest and most up-to-date events, super boss or manager, constant traveller, working out/yoga included in the daily schedule, healthy lifestyle, perfect family member, desirable income, multiple language speaker, active reader and art connoisseur, engaging in shaping others > No free time, but supposed to be satisfied and fully happy with this productive super-packed schedule
  8. Technology, claimed to improve our lives, transforming people into less sociable human beings, bringing about increased feelings of loneliness, superficial friendships, relationships and the dissapearance of tightly-bound communities.
  9. The biggest health challenge of the 21st century: stress, anxiety and mental breakdowns.
  10. If you have the freedom and possibility of being everything and anything, how will you choose to be something? In principle,  you could do or be a bit of everything, but in reality you just end up having identity issues, personality issues, relationship issues,  career issues and all sorts of other issues. Questions like :who are you? ; what path can you choose in life? ; what career is the most suitable for you? ; which country should you settle in? ; who do you love and why? flood your mind more than ever before.

 

My utopian world:

A world every human being respects animals and considers them equal to people. Of course, that means providing everyone with a basic education on animal rights. I would love to see a world where animals don’t suffer anymore because of cruel humans and a world where the ecosystem isn’t disturbed any longer for the purpose of creating more business developments or expanding the human habitat.

A world where everyone has a basic income that elliminates worries about the most standard survival issues (food, roof above their heads, transportation, health, clothing) and allows them to use their energy to be creative and passionate about their life, work, community and leisure time.

A world where we have enough time to listen to our inner selves, to our emotions and moods…thus a shorter workweek (4 days per week)….Many times I was confronted with the following strange feeling: I got sick and therefore I had the chance and right to skip university or work. Normally, I should have felt horrid, because I was physically sick, but at the same time I got that great, hidden feeling of happiness that I was in charge of a full day off, my own day, my free time to do with as I please. I was all of a sudden free and in charge of 12 hours of unplanned, spontaneous available time and I was jumping around with excitement even though I was weak as hell and I should have been crying instead. Why does that happen? Does it happen to other people, too? Maybe because we do things because we should and not because we love to. Let’s face it, more free time to control by ourselves is an amazing idea.

A world where people are free to propose any kind of business or educational ideas they might have and a world that supports the implementation of these ideas.

A world where people are just people with no disctinctions based on race, nationality, gender, age, sexuality  and so on. A world where we all become global human beings.

A world where we have free movement of people and goods and no drawn-up, strict borders that limit human beings’ wellbeing and worldview.

A world where people are more humble and altruistic and where brands don’t matter at all.

A world where the rich and the so-called poor are not far apart in terms of income, education and social status.

A world that appreciates intelligence, cooperation, harmony, collaboration and empathy.

A world that listens with the heart and works things out with the brain.

A world based on love and understanding.

Let’s not get caught up in the details. Does it matter if we will have cities in the sky, if we will move to Mars or not, if we will have flying cars, if we will have human holograms, if we will be able to have robots replace our work?

Nope, because we have not been able to solve our poverty issues, because we still have prejudices regarding our fellow human beings, because we are still selfish and would like to keep the benefits and high standards of living to ourselves, because we ignore what happens outside our bubble of “apparent” wellbeing, because we don’t believe in anything anymore, because we are practical robots that fear to oppose the status quo, because we are frustatrated idealists, because we tell ourselves that society made us like this.

I challenge other bloggers to share some of their utopian world ideas in response to this blog post in the comments section!

Daydreaming

 

A red lucky moving hand Japanese cat

Looks insistently at a Westerner with a hat

The street barbecue floats in fat

The teachers gave a talk to a random Matt

A handsome Korean on an Alvar Aalto chair sat

Another daydreaming session in a café

With my pet the rainbow bat

The letters of a faded, burnt postcard

Rotate with fervor in a mental hospital ward

Imaginary friends eat a bowlful of lard

The emperor’s castle collapsed and killed the bard

The foundations of this fantasy story are hard

Covered in milk the lamp seems a tart

I am stuck in a corner; I am Alice in love with a leopard

At the counter full of cakes there is a clown

The odd collection of teaspoons fell down

The construction worker, the nurse, the guard are all sound

But the sofas, the fluorescent walls, the plants are bound

Are chained to my notebook while they drown

In the room there is a single crown

The queen lost, the plot was written by my hound.

Childhood

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In the middle of the green fields

I was alone,

I was in reverie

Thinking, dancing, mumbling

Existence was soft

Was as easy as picking scented flowers

Nectar filled plants

Listening to bees

Tasting the grass

Hearing the wind whispering

My dreams of growing up

Got caught up in spider’s webs

And playing games

Was not for wining, was not for losing

Running around

Stealing fruits

The value of goods

Was in sharing

Children on the streets

Jumping in the rain

Building bridges in the mud

The sweet taste of childhood

Lies in its simplicity.