Christmas is coming. Still unemployed!




Random thoughts have been going through my head for a month already. So here it goes. Finally I have the time and courage to write down what has been bothering me. I gave up my three or four part-time jobs as an English teacher and my Chinese language course will end soon. That means my visa will expire soon…how soon? The end of January…and I’ve got nothing sorted out….I am stressed, I might be kicked out of this country and I am not even sure I have enough money to buy a plane ticket to go back to my home country. I am basically stranded. And my home is in Shanghai already. I feel the Christmas spirit here, my lovely dog is here with me…what am I gonna do with him if I have to leave? He is my responsability and I love him so much. I could leave him with my boyfriend, but I would miss him too much.

Meanwhile, I am constantly looking for jobs in my domain (anthropology > NGO, social entrepreneurs’ companies,  cultural advisor, exchange semester coordinator or study advisor…abstract and idealistic type of jobs).  Yeah, this is what stimulates my imagination and my dream is to get involved in projects that could alleviate poverty, help discriminated people, come up with ideas and ways to help migrants integrate better and receive real chances to start over in their new countries. To be honest, ever since I was a child empathy was one of my biggest qualities. I remember seeing beggars, wounded animals or poor children and starting to cry. My whole day became miserable and I didn’t care about my happy circumstances anymore. Well, I don’t know if you can classify empathy as a quality. Sometimes it makes life impossibly hard. I am way too sensitive and I sometimes end up crying in a corner by how fucked up the world is and by how insensitive and selfish people are. I am one of those people who cannot imagine living life only for herself. I can’t die thinking that all I have done during my short, meaningless life was to build a future only for myself and my family. So no, I want to help the world, thus I want to become a social activist. Unfortunately, so do many other people…millions of other people…why? because nowadays it is trendy to do that…it is fashionable…basically it goes like this…some people think the world is divided into the following categories:

  •  Rich individuals, big corporations, corrupt politicians > aka business minded, mainly interested in money people
  • The other side > the good guys, the ‘do good’, save the world, talk big and put some positive shit on your CV

But out there people are more than that, more than 2 narrow categories. Black, white and grey zones mingle. What frustrates me the most are people who are nowadays social activists or work in domains that are obviously related to anthropology and sociology, but have nothing to do with these areas. They use language and terms that are unrelated to social and cultural issues and even augment problems by spreading wrong messages and using general terms (such as: let’s educate people > how abstract is that? ). And the main problem with this is that they have no theoretical knowledge and no background in how to deal with different communities. All the data they have on certain communities comes from superficial dialogues they had with a few individuals. There is no ethnography involved, no significant sample group, no extended period of time interviewing and participating in the community’ s life. Hence, everything is just completely biased and presented from the perspective of the person who wants to help. However, this help can sometimes do more wrong than good for certain communities if we are not analytical enough. That also involves a lot of self-criticism and challenging yourself at every step. So here’s my issue…do some people want to help because they would like to see problems solved? Are they really in it to genuinely offer other people chances to improve their lives? Or do they want to help because it is trendy and weighs a lot on their resume? I think there are a lot of posers out there who occupy jobs that I might be suitable for.

And here’s the paradox…..

I, with a background in anthropology and I, who really want to delve into nowadays’ societal and cultural issues, am standing on the bench of unemployment while individuals who have no idea how to approach cultural and social issues or who have no theoretical background in this are shouting out loud: ‘Help people with special needs’! . Gosh, that was a talk I listened to at PIC (Pyramid Impact Collective) Shanghai. So let’s discriminate people and place them into a special and separate group from ours by calling them : people with special needs. It is ridiculous: us (normal) versus them (special needs). I am not gonna go deeper into this, but it does seem like we are regressing to previous issues of us (white, intelligent) versus them (non-white, colonized). Except now we have different categories of us (full physical and mental abilities individuals) and them (individuals who mentally and physically relate to the world in a different way). I thought we were over that.

But getting back to the job problem.  As I was saying, I find this battle of mine to find an entry-level job as a young graduate paradoxical. Why? Because, on one side, people without experience and proper backgrounds in anthropology and sociology are working in domains that require both practical and theoretical knowledge. On the other side, the more I struggle to swim through nowadays competitive market the more I feel like I am worthless. Most of the jobs out there are for people with 2+ years experience. On top of that, the more certificates you have, the more languages you speak, the more freaking additional skills you have the better it is. And I feel left out, I am not a superhuman. I wonder who is? Then how do young people find jobs? And how do all these individuals without sociological and anthropological backgrounds end up in NGOs?

You would say, well, they start with an internship….and that’s fine…for those who want to do that…but I can’t and I am really against that…why? Because for more than 7 years of my life (bachelor and master) my parents have been supporting me financially and I feel ashamed to ask them to keep supporting me for one more year while I work for free. Because that’s how I see it. Big companies want interns that slave for them…no? Aren’t interns a kind of modern slaves? No offence to those who do internships…I’m sure you gain a lot of valuable skills and knowledge…but at the same time why don’t companies pay at least a minimum wage so graduates can sustain themselves and become independent? I mean, I will be 27 years old on the 13th of December and I want to be independent and to start my career in an NGO or a social  entrepreneurship group. Because my studies are related to that and afterall, this is my passion. Why don’t I get the chance to do that? I mean, what’s the point of studying at all if all I get to do is an internship or getting a job in something that completely bores me and drains all my energy just to be able to put food on the table and pay the rent?

I agree that we live in a very competitive society and we have to fight for what is ours, but isn’t this pushed to an extreme? I am not the type of individual who can multitask to the extent that I can juggle a full-time internship and many part-time jobs to pay the rent and at the same time save some personal time for myself to stay sane. I feel like internships are for rich kids. My parents can’t support me any longer. And when I think about it, my parents were financially independent when they were about 24. So how can I ask them for money and work for free or for a meagre amount of money just to gain experience?  If you ask me…internships are just a cheap and dirty way to cut down on costs and make poor susceptible young graduates slave and do jobs that otherwise employees would do for a real salary. So no, I am not going to do an internship…I am going to keep looking for that one workplace that will give me the chance to get a visa, earn a fair salary and be able to survive in this city and in this country by paying my own bills and buying my own food and by giving me the chance to develop and use my energy, my creativity, my skills in their company.

P.S: One last thing, I was given a free piece of ‘smart advice’. I was told by some people (who supposedly are great, intelligent and working in social change) that I victimize myself and that I create a negative image for myself by complaining or by revealing that I am unemployed and looking for a job and for a chance to start my career. I was advised to pump up my image and to advertise myself,  to present myself as what I want to be instead of what I am. And that, to me, seems to be faking it…’smart advice’ from self-image and goal setting coaches. What is wrong with admitting the truth, with recognizing that I am vulnerable and  that I am going through a situation that many other people faced at some point in their lives? And btw, the PR department uses negative publicity once in a while as a positive thing. ‘Bad publicity is better than no publicity at all!’

Leaving all jokes aside: I am fed up with this : ‘Everything works fine and I am a great individual with no problems’ and with ‘I will never show my weak spots and I will not admit to needing help’. I am going to make a parallel here. It is like asking racially discriminated people to stop complaining about it and stop showing it to others because they would become vulnerable and everyone will perceive them as victims. But hell, they have been mistreated and the problem comes from the others, not from them. What a load of crap: we should be talking about it, we should be revealing it…because part of the problem is that society, people, companies, the environment and everything that belongs to it is treating us like that. We, young people, want more chances to work and to show what we are capable of! And people who have been racially discriminated want society to own up to it. We should make those responsible realize that they are unfair…and that we want a change!

35 thoughts on “Christmas is coming. Still unemployed!

  1. Best of luck in your search. Never easy. have you tried Tchnoserve? It’s an NGO I heard of. I don’t k ow if they are in China or not. And from one Sagittarian to another – I was born on the 18 – happy birthday! Many happy returns of the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ll get something soon. You are an empath! I can so relate. Being a highly sensitive person is not easy but it is not common so I am delighted to meet you. Feel free to chat anytime! Your dreams are valid and you’ll make the difference you want to. The universe will guarantee it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I really hope that the universe is still listening. Sometimes I feel like my desires and feelings are not important to anyone else besides myself. And working alone to achieve something is like fighting against the windmills.


  3. You make really true points in your post. Have you ever tried just following what you like doing, by yourself, without asking anybody for employment? It is an idea only … I wish you all the best! โค ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ€

    Liked by 2 people

      • No. You donโ€™t. As an older person, Iโ€™m learning now that I became too reliant on certificates and gaining experience when I could have just been doing, thereby gaining the experience. Think outside of the box. There is something there for you that will lead you/take you to where you are meant to be. Itโ€™s just not going to be a logical path. Best wishes – I believe youโ€™ll find it. Stay authentic too, but itโ€™s a harder and longer path when you donโ€™t play by those superficial rules (in the long term, youโ€™ll be grateful you stayed authentic).

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is not about the rules or what others tell me to do. It is just that I don’t feel ready and confident to start on my own yet. And that is my decision. Besides, there are so many start-ups nowadays that replicate what others do or bring nothing new.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Very true. I think youโ€™ll find your place. I hope you do soon. You appear to be talented and intelligent. Trust in your ability. We are all always learning. I wish you the very very best. Iโ€™ve enjoyed reading your blog. You remind me a little of myself at your age. It was quite inspiring.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I can feel your frustration and can relate to your feelings about the World. I used to cry, as a child, seeing beggars on the street or anybody suffering. I wanted to heal the World and bring peace. My first mentor, at the age of 10, told me that the best way to spread joy is to be joyous myself, to follow my heart, have patience and persevere. Patience and persistence. There are times when it is very difficult and all my spiritual learnings and all the philosophy comes of no use. That is when I remember โ€“ this will also pass. That is what really helps me. The acknowledge meant that this moment will also pass. Life stretches out in front of me and I am sure there will be more thorny patches and I also know that there are flower beds along the way. So dig in. Have faith in your abilities and never give up hope. I believe that there is always help out there if we follow our heart. Dig in. Remember, this will also pass ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. R.A. says:

    I really feel for you about people insisting that you hide your vulnerability. That is something which annoys me about society in general, that we live in a world where it’s like, “Don’t show your weaknesses! Don’t let anyone know you’re vulnerable! You must put on a brave face at ALL times.” Why?? I make a point of not doing that.

    I wish I could tell you that it has made me massively rich, but I really don’t think that the two things are connected. If anything, the times when I have confided something about myself in a virtual (or complete) stranger is when I have experienced genuine human kindness.

    Of course, there are some people who genuinely only care about themselves, but I think a lot of people who say, “There, there, stay positive” are the ones who: (1) Feel awkward because we never really learned as children how to react to “negative” (sad, angry, worried, depressed) feelings from others (kids are generally told to make friends and say sorry and then move on, which is nobody’s fault because parents and grandparents were probably told the same thing); and (2) They wish they could solve your problem, like actually give you an idea for the perfect solution, which they can’t; and then they feel awkward again.

    And again, it’s nobody’s fault. That’s why it helps to have at least one person you can unburden on who doesn’t feel awkward, and who knows that you don’t expect them to wave a magic wand and solve your problems; you just want somebody to listen and have empathy. โค

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that admitting you are vulnerable is really brave. It means you have discovered yourself in more depth and you know your weaknesses, accept them and use them in your favour. Unfortunately, nowadays society only portrays success and how to be the best version of yourself. There is no space out there for failures, which happen morw often than success and have their own meaningful lessons to teach. And yes, we should definitely learn how to express our emotions, our empathy and our support in better ways.

      Liked by 1 person

      • R.A. says:

        Very well said. Yes, we do hear that a lot: “the best version of yourself”. It sounds great, naturally. I suppose I lean more towards the most authentic version of myself, but that is not the path for everyone.

        You are very articulate, btw, a natural writer. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I got permanent residency in Japan quite a while ago, which frees me to do anything legal for a Japanese citizen except vote. At the time, I was told getting citizenship would be easier, since I was born here and my parents are buried here, but that would only have intensified the alienation I feel from ethnic Japanese because genetically I’m American of European heritage. May you discover the Lord’s good plan for you and have great joy in following it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good luck with your job search — although that is certainly only one way to frame things — and perhaps not the best way either. I would think there are many companies who would like their employees to improve their English. Perhaps you could also “double check” signs, websites, emails, etc. Recently, for instance, I’ve had invitations to submit papers to conferences various places in China. There are almost always errors in these. I’ve been involved in trying to get an organization I’ve worked with a long time — ACM’s special interest group in human computer interaction — to become more “international” and part of that has been to get more Chinese involvement. This in turn, led to several workshops and programs to help including mentoring for papers. But most “mentors” are looking to improve the quality of the research — not the detailed proof-reading and corrections of the papers. When we review for conferences, we generally try to separate the quality of the language from the research. But sometimes, it’s really “too much” for the native speaker. Perhaps you could offer a service to individuals wanting to submit papers to an English conference — one where you “fix” the various English errors and thereby get them a much better shot at having their paper accepted.

    Since you obviously like to write, you might consider a “business person’s guide” to Shanghai based on your experience including some phrases, how to get around, cross-cultural traps to avoid in business dealings, beautiful places to see, where to eat, etc. I believe some companies even have specific courses for employees headed there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know what you mean.And until now I have been very flexible. I am not the type of person who is stuck on one thing only. I am interested in HR jobs or student advising/jobs in uni or cultural advisor in companies too. I have never found any vacancy as a cultural advisor in a company in Shanghai. I haven’t even seen it mentioned somewhere. It’s that type of job that sounds good, but hard to find and get. While I did do something related to business English in a company that is not my true calling and I feel I am wasting the knowledge I acquired during my years of studies.


  8. kevininparenthesis says:

    Totally understand where you’re coming from here. This may not be ideal, but if I were you I would look into teaching in shanghai for a year with a school who can sponsor your visa. Once you’ve got a steady job, you can bank your income and keep forging connections.
    I highly recommend international or private kindergartens, as you’ll work the same hours as most business professionals, and you can really see the good you do in your work.
    (This is how I transitioned into the corporate world.)
    Shangai is an awesome city for networking and finding new opportunities, but it does take a little time, keep the faith and don’t let

    Liked by 1 person

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